Many Happy Returns
by Higurazel
Summary: Dr. Palmer gets a message informing him to come to the galley. There he finds a very odd surprise party waiting for him... (Working off the randomly chosen assumption that Ray's birthday is 30th October.)


Dr. Raymond Palmer froze in place with his hand still pressing against the light switch for the galley. He took in the scene before him like he was preparing for the fight of his life.

Two men stood side by side behind the central counter, grinning at him with downturned faces that turned the expressions more into sadistic sneers. Mick Rory and Leonard Snart, formerly Heatwave and Captain Cold respectively, had their hands hidden behind their backs and their eyes fixed on himself. Ray could feel the dryness as his throat threatened to close up. Maybe this really was going to be the fight of his life.

"Guys?" He finally managed to croak out, slowly raising his hand in what he hoped was a diplomatic gesture. "Is… Is everything ok?"

"Peachy." Rory barked, continuing to keep his eyes locked in place.

"Because you kind of have that look like you're about to start doing something unpleasant and…" Ray trailed off, turning his hand to motion to the door behind him, "should I go? Is this a private thing? I can go. I'm gonna go."

"Now, now Raymond." Snart's soothing, sneering tone stopped Dr. Palmer half-turn. "We were actually waiting for you."

"Waiting for me?" Ray looked back and forth between the pair of them. "Is this… Are you guys going to whack me?"

"Whack you?" Rory looked confused. "What, are we old timey scarfaces now? We don't whack people, Haircut, we kill 'em."

"And that's not what we're here to do." Snart added quickly, bringing one empty hand out from behind his back and placing it across his accomplice's broad chest. "Didn't you get the note Mick left?"

"Uh, I did. It said _Galley. Come alone. Or else_." Ray couldn't feel himself getting any calmer.

Snart sighed and gave a withering look to the giant at his left.

"What?" Rory scoffed, "I should've put hearts and little Xs on there?"

Snart's brow furrowed. "You could've tried to be a little less intimidating."

"Sure doesn't sound like me."

"Guys!" Ray shouted, instantly regretting raising the volume on the conversation. "If you aren't going to murder me then can I ask what this is all about? Are you guys up to something you shouldn't be?"

"Well," Snart glanced from Ray to Rory and back again before motioning to the clock on the wall behind him with a nod. "Clock back there tells me that it's 8:05 on October 30th. Relative to the ship's timeframe anyway. And that means…"

Both he and Rory quickly brought their hands in front of them, yelling "Surprise!" and almost making Ray flee the galley on sheer instinct. Both of them held out gift-wrapped boxes towards him, Snart's face painted with a cruelly artificial smile whereas Rory continued to glower in smouldering disapproval. Dr. Palmer could feel beads of sweat running down the back of his neck as every fibre of his being told him to run.

"October 30th, it's your birthday, right?" Snart placed his gift on the counter before him.

"And it's 8:05," Rory added in what he must have thought was a helpful tone. "Great time." He winced as Snart's foot jammed down on top of his. Ray looked at the clock on the wall, it did indeed say 8:05 and… Wait, had there always been a clock there?

"Wait, how did you guys know?"

"We know lots of stuff, Haircut."

"OK, follow up question, why are you guys celebrating my birthday?"

"No-one else was going to. At least, not that they let us in on." Snart said, slowly pushing the box towards Ray. "Besides, you've been exceptionally… Less annoying these past few weeks. Rewarding behaviour you want to see is always a good plan."

Ray began to edge forwards, as softly as he could, eyeing the parcel on the counter. It was wrapped in dark blue foil with an exquisite ribbon on the top.

"Are you guys for real?" He asked.

"Aren't we always?" Rory still glared at him over the top of his own battered box, wrapped in white quilted tissue paper that Ray strongly suspected had come from either this very galley or one of the restrooms.

Ray tentatively picked up the blue box, lifting the lid off as he did so.

"I'm not sure what to say guys, except, thank you I guess. This is actually really nice of you and- a hat?" He pulled out the contents of the box, namely, one black top hat.

"Belonged to an engineer we bumped into back on that last trip." Snart explained. "Little guy, big ideas. Reminded me of you. You seemed to get along well with him."

Ray froze up. "You stole Isambard Kingdom Brunel's hat? To give to me as a birthday gift?"

"It's the thought that counts." Snart purred.

"But you stole it!"

"Which makes it now mine. And now I gift it to you."

"Enough talking about the bridge-dwarf's stupid hat." Rory interjected, "open mine."

Ray gently put the top hat down, figuring that he would figure out what to do with that later. Not that the inventor side of him wasn't inwardly screaming at the little piece of history he held. Rather it was that he was worried about potential questions it might raise. He turned to Rory's gift, the pyromaniac grinning deeply as he growled:

"I made it myself."

Ray hesitated, hoping his hands flinching away from the offered box wasn't too obvious. He regained his composure and took the parcel, opening it up with his heart close to detonating. Inside he found a crumpled white t-shirt that had been scrawled on in black sharpie (and recently, based on the smudges) with the phrase "Ray Of Sunshine".

"That's, um, that's really nice, Mick. Hand-made gifts really mean a lot."

"There's more in there too." The bald giant added bluntly.

Sure enough, tucked within the creased garment was a tattered $100 bill with a few singe marks along its edge.

"Oh, wow," Ray added, trying his best to smile broadly, "I don't know what to say."

"It was supposed to be fifty, but I didn't have anything smaller." Mick muttered.

"Oh, well thank-"

"You can pay me back the rest some other time. I know you're good for it."

Ray nodded slowly, smile still stuck to his face.

"Well guys, this is really great of you."

"And don't forget the best part." Snart said with a wink before ducking down below the counter. When he re-emerged it was with a large and lopsided cake on a tray in his hands. The frosting was a sad looking shade of brown, and there seemed to be more or less layers depending on what angle one looked at it from. A true eldritch horror of a dessert, but Ray couldn't deny it still seemed somewhat tempting.

"Let me guess," he said pointing between the two rogues, "Snart, you did the frosting and Rory, you did the candles?"

"Don't try and be funny, Ramond." Snart said as he put the cake down on the counter. "It's not your strong suit."

"Besides," Rory added, "everyone knows I'm the funny one." It felt more like a threat than a statement of fact.

"But seriously, you two made this yourselves?"

"The original plan was to make a cake large enough to have someone jump out of as an extra treat for the birthday boy. Plan A was Ms. Saunders but she, regrettably, turned us down."

"Called us deviants," Mick muttered as he started to cut himself a slice of the cake.

"So it was either make a smaller cake or go to Plan B on a crewmember to come jumping out and give you a show." Snart paused and turned to look at Rory. Ray didn't think his blood could run any colder.

"I'm not allowed to wear banana hammocks anymore anyway." Mick grumbled through a mouthful of cake. Ray felt his stomach plunge and his earlier assertion regarding his blood went straight out the window. In what he felt was a saving moment of grace, the alarm system of the Wave Rider began to sound, sirens blaring across the room.

"Gideon? What's wrong?" Ray shouted over the noise.

"It appears that a number of items have been reported missing from the Captain's quarters." The AI announced, just as the aforementioned Captain made his entrance into the galley, staring daggers at all three of them.

"Yes and whoever did it did so in the last hour." Rip said through gritted teeth. "So, tell me, what did you two do with them?"

"Us? Nothing," Snart shrugged and pouted.

"We've been celebrating our buddy's birthday," Mick added, stepping around the counter to put his arm around Ray's shoulder. "Been with him since 8:05. Tell him, Haircut!"

Ray craned his neck to glance over at the clock against the wall, again wondering whether he'd ever seen it there before. His eyes narrowed as he watched it come to the end of speedily winding itself towards 10:50. As Mick's grip around his shoulder got tighter, he let out a quiet little sigh.


End file.
